Recent posts for A Dork And His Pork
How to Squeeze
Biscuits seem like the first apt metaphor right now. But let me digress with the second: I’m starting to recognize that I see life as the molten interior of a well-composed pot pie. Don’t get me wrong: I’ll get after it. … Continue reading →
Posted: 4/26/2013 5:04 PM
Oh. Of COURSE You Don’t Own a Helicopter
Well, aren’t you just… precious. Your pages are glossy and guided, your cover is padded with embossed lettering, you come in your own box, swaddled in a piece of aubergine tissue paper. And you have this… way about you. This… … Continue reading →
Posted: 2/24/2013 7:48 PM
Carbmageddeon
Like most classical comedies, this begins with a hapless struggle, and ends with a party. But, for the record, I am not… completely hapless. I do, admittedly, hide behind schtick. I joke about barely being able to dress myself, and … Continue reading...
Posted: 12/3/2012 2:21 AM
Lurch and Destroy
Still here. Still struggling to match my socks and still haven’t bought light bulbs and still ranting about truffle oil and still prone to dribbling all over myself. But life is peachy. A lot to cover. Let’s do a speed … Continue reading →
Posted: 11/1/2012 1:40 PM
Price of Admission
Okay. This post, even by my standards, is going to be a little bit… strange. Don’t say you weren’t warned. Please indulge the following thought-experiment: Suppose, just suppose, that you and your date have snagged a prime two-top at the … Continue reading...
Posted: 10/3/2012 9:02 PM
Custard Advice for the Modern Gentleman
The method by which a gentleman handles eggs reveals much about him. Can he grapple with nuance – recognizing that pans should be neither too hot nor too cold? That there should be some butter but not too much butter? … Continue reading →
Posted: 9/24/2012 7:48 PM
I Like Pig Butts and I Cannot Lie
Failure is often very useful. I have never been one to allow the unique demands of the Jeff Lifestyle to crimp my culinary range. I don’t begrudge the extra time I spend waiting for the bus, the smaller kitchen … Continue reading →
Posted: 9/5/2012 8:17 PM
The Semiotics of Shallot Confit
A recipe with digressions… So. Ethical dilemma. If you were to take, say, ten shallots. The bigguns. And chop them. Couple of garlic cloves, too. Don’t have to get all Robuchonny and follow the grain…. just chop. And then spread … Continue reading →
Posted: 8/27/2012 9:39 PM
Who’s Your Patty?
So that was fun. This was not a “Raptured into Heaven” burger. The burger did not teach me Krav Maga, weatherproof my home, breeze through the final level of Diablo II, get me a new job, or straighten things out with my … Continue reading →
Posted: 7/30/2012 1:07 AM
Ribbed for Our Pleasure
Drawback to being the Pork Guy? Realizing that you are not the only Pork Guy. Big, oinky thankyou to Nathan and Anna for presiding over a splendid evening of ritual pig worship. And for offering me the bite of brain … Continue reading →
Posted: 6/25/2012 9:31 PM
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